Domestic Violence Awareness Month: Quiet Safety Planning & Digital Safety

Steps, Code Words, and Safe Tech for Protecting Yourself in Silence

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a time to honor survivors, raise awareness, and empower those who may be living in silence.

Domestic violence isn’t always loud; it can exist behind closed doors, hidden under fear, control, and isolation. For many survivors, making a safety plan has to be done quietly and carefully. Whether you are still in the relationship, planning to leave, or rebuilding after, having a discreet plan can save your life.

At Passionate Path Counseling, we believe safety begins with awareness and preparation especially when it comes to technology and communication.

Creating a Safe and Quiet Plan

Safety planning looks different for everyone, but these steps can help you protect yourself while minimizing risk:

1. Memorize Important Numbers Keep a few trusted contacts saved under neutral names or written somewhere safe. Avoid using nicknames that could raise suspicion.

2. Develop a Code Word Choose a simple phrase or emoji to send to family or friends when you need help but can’t speak openly. Example: “Can you bring the blue book?” might mean, “I need you to call 911.”

3. Plan an Exit Strategy Know safe locations you can go to: friends, family, or local shelters, and how you’ll get there. Pack an emergency bag with copies of IDs, keys, medication, and essentials, stored where your partner won’t find it.

4. Keep Records Safely If possible, document incidents in a secure way. You can email notes to a new account with a safe password or store them in a hidden folder on a trusted device.

Protecting Yourself Digitally

In today’s world, technology safety is part of survival. Abusers often use phones, GPS, and social media to track or monitor victims. Here are ways to keep your digital space safe:

• Check for Spyware or Location Sharing Review app permissions and location settings. Turn off sharing features when not needed.

• Use a Safe Device If possible, use a public or trusted friend’s phone/computer for private searches or calls.

• Change Passwords Regularly Use unique passwords that don’t relate to your personal life or relationship.

• Be Careful What You Post Avoid sharing real-time locations or plans online, especially if the abuser monitors your social media.

  
  

Your safety comes first whether online and offline. Even small steps can make a big difference.

You Are Not Alone

Leaving an abusive situation takes courage, planning, and support. If you or someone you know is in danger, help is available 24/7.

Resources for Immediate Help:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or thehotline.org — chat or text “START” to 88788

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 anytime for free, confidential support

• Love Is Respect (for teens & young adults): loveisrespect.org

• Local Shelters: Search “domestic violence shelter near me” or contact your local women’s resource center

  
  

At Passionate Path Counseling, we create a space for healing, rebuilding trust, and rediscovering your voice—one quiet, safe step at a time. 💜

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